There was once an elderly lady who had lived for over 90 years, she was palliative and was going to stay in a home, a care home. She was only going for a short time while her family travelled to another city to go to a wedding. The lady was too ill to travel to go to the wedding and she told her family to go without her, she wanted them to celebrate the wedding and to bring photographs back to show her. She told her family she would be ok for the few days while they went away. Because the lady was poorly and she was palliative doctors had already talked with her about Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) and after discussion the lady was happy that a DNACPR was in place, the A4 size piece of paper with a solid red border told medical staff that in the event that the lady needed CPR she did not want it, she did not want to be resuscitated, the lady knew that she was palliative, she wanted the right to say what treatment she had and wanted the right to chose how she died, she made a decision that her final moments would not be spent with medical staff trying to resuscitate her, she knew that the CPR might cause injury and she had decided that she wanted to be allowed to die and the doctors agreed. The piece of paper went everywhere with the lady, because she was frail and had heart problems it was important that the piece of paper went with her so there was no mistake about her wish not to be resuscitated. The document was a legal one and had to be respected by everyone. The DNACPR had a red border so it stood out from other pieces of white paper.
When the lady went to the care home for her short stay her family carefully packed the DNACPR with her belongings because they knew how important it was and they knew it was crucial that the document stayed with the lady during the journey and once she arrived at the home, just in case.
The family went to the wedding, after they had been gone for a day the lady became poorly, she had a heart attack. The staff at the home were good and caring and kind and they called an ambulance, when the paramedics arrived they asked about the lady and her wishes regarding treatment and about DNACPR.
The staff at the home were always very busy, they all worked hard and a lot of the time there weren’t quite enough staff to do all of the work that was needed and sometimes jobs were put on a “to do” list but by the end of the shift the jobs didn’t always get done and not everyone could remember all of the jobs for all of the people they cared for every day, they were just ordinary human people who sometimes forgot things. When the lady arrived at the home the DNACPR was given to the staff to put in the lady’s file so that it was safe and wasn’t forgotten about and so everyone knew where it was “just in case”. Something went wrong, maybe the phone rang at the exact moment of the piece of paper being given to the staff or maybe someone came to the door and caused a distraction or maybe there was an emergency to deal with and the piece of paper with the red border was put on the desk for just a moment and in the confusion and the busyness was then forgotten about, the DNACPR didn’t go into the file, no one knows why, the DNACPR vanished, no one knows where it went but it didn’t go into the lady’s file and so when she had a heart attack and the paramedics came and asked about the DNACPR no one could find it to show to the paramedics and so the paramedics had no legal reason to not carry out CPR, there was no evidence to stop the CPR and so the paramedics did their best and tried to save the lady’s life. The lady couldn’t tell them not to and the staff couldn’t find the DNACPR to show the paramedics and so for fifteen minutes the paramedics tried to save the lady’s life, even though that’s not what the lady wanted. The lady couldn’t be saved, she died.
Sometimes for the want of a piece of paper it goes wrong, no one did a deliberately bad or cruel thing, no one lost the form on purpose, everyone did their utmost and everyone wanted it to be the right thing.
I think about the Dylan Thomas poem “The hand that signed the paper” and about the line “hands have no tears to flow”, it was a hand that put down the DNACPR, it was a hand that moved it, hands frantically searching for the DNACPR, hands devoid of emotion. I think about the unguarded piece of paper which will probably turn up in a drawer or the wrong file or just under a pile of other paperwork, the mythical, magical, illusive and powerful piece of paper with the red border.